Omnigon: Book One the Mage of Gryphon Peak by C. E. Francies

Book one by C.E. Francies is a beautifully crafted story with a pallet of words worthy of the masters. I love the vivid descriptions that make me visualize the places it describes. The story is good yet the way it is delivered isn’t the best to show off its beauty. 

The author spends a large amount of time talking about different races in the land. The space would have been better used to introduce them as the races made their appearance in the story. In another spot the kids are in class and their history is introduced in a long lecture. Again it would have been better to break it up in smaller pieces that are easier to digest.

I counted eleven straight pages of just background or scenery; although beautifully crafted it didn’t contain a single line of dialogue. This is called dumping the information all at once. That is a sure way to lose your reader.

I have been tought on that in our day when everything is at the tip of a button. Readers need to have a good hook in the first paragraph or the reader will put the book down. Also, you have to have some sort of action in each chapter to keep the reader from closing the book. Readers engage in the tale through the actions of the characters that make us love or hate them. That is why we keep reading, because we care about what happens to them.

I felt that I didn’t know where the story was going even on page 170. Up to that point, I hadn’t seen what the problem was or who was going to resolve it. This book is for young adults because the protagonists are young, so the readers will be young and ready for action or at least a fast paced book, and this book is neither.

I hope the author will consider a new revision to this beautiful story and re-publish it. It will really give the book a better chance in today’s market.

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